Starting again

OK.. here I go again.

My original goal date has come and gone.. and I did not meet my target weight.  I had originally said that I would consider weight loss surgery again if I did not meet my goal, but I'm not ready for that.  So I'm going to try again.

I started again this morning. 
Starting weight: 322.2 lbs. 
Target weight: 180 lbs. 
Goal date: TBD

I'm not going to pressure myself with an end date yet.  I'm just going to focus on starting again.  And I'm scared to death!  Scared to fail, again.  Because I have failed over and over and over again.  So I'm going to be more private about it this time.  I know, you're thinking, "Then why are you writing this blog?  Not very private, Jemme."  I know that, but I feel led to continue writing.  I miss writing.

Just writing this excites me.. so far I've only been terrified.  But putting it in writing again gives me a weird hope.  Interesting, wasn't expecting that when I sat down at the computer.

Anyway.. the thing I'm most interested in accomplishing right now is having more energy.  I'm exhausted all the time.  All I want to do is sleep.  I am tired and my kids are suffering because of it.  And what better time to get outside than during spring.  I've never been much of an outdoor person, but I do love the sunshine.  So I'm planning to start at the beginning -- do some sort of activity for 30 minutes a day.. it will most likely be walking.  Then I will progress.  And as for my food.. I'm planning to incorporate many more veggies into the diet and eliminate sugars.

I know I have let many people down.. most importantly myself and my family.. and anyone reading this may not believe in me.  But I know that my God believes in me, no matter what I have or have not done.  So I will be leaning on Him for my strength and perseverance.  "I can do all things, through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13